Since they feel unworthy, they don’t want to open themselves to Christian men or women who seem so much purer than them. Many of these resources give us tips, insights, and suggestions on how we can attain and maintain the ideal relationships most of us dream of, but often they only scratch the surface of what relationships are all about. Therefore whether single or married, all Christians should pursue the benefits of a simplified life when seeking to serve God. I have a Master's Degree in Pastoral Counseling, I've been married since 2008, we have two wild children, and we live in Cleveland, Ohio. I am a Christian and I have asked God to restore my marriage. In fact, the subtle feeling you often get from some church cultures is that it’s shameful to be single, as though you are definitely doing something wrong if you are over thirty-years-old and still single. ‎Do you wonder why you’re still single? For example: I know I want to put a rain barrel next to my garage, but then I need to add gutters. . God, Why Am I Not Married? What’s often forgotten is that singleness is not a biblical curse. This same cycle can occur for someone who has not embraced the full redemption offered in the gospel, which causes them to hold onto the shame stemming from their past. If you are an introvert, you’ll often go about finding a spouse by going on prayer walks alone. It’s a daunting task to think about finding someone to date, dating, getting more serious, engagement, planning a wedding, getting married, being married, avoiding divorce, having kids, and . My Fav Highlighted Edited Version. So if I can help some folks before they married, I can maybe help some future marriages down the road. But since you are a Christian, you know it’s wrong to marry someone like this. Let's be honest: weddings are expensive, and it's not crazy to not want to spend your entire life's savings on one day.Considering the average wedding cost in the United States is a whopping $33,391—a nice chunk of a down payment on a home—deciding not to get married so you can keep your money in the bank is a smart move. Since I my self am married with four children, I freely admit that I do not know the pain and frustration a single person wanting to marry faces. If you want to be rash, impulsive, or move forward without knowledge then don’t be mad at God when you are married without joy. In summary, love Jesus first, be practical, and have fun! . I’m anxious because I’m still single, and I don’t know if God will ever bring me a spouse. So they end up dating impassionate Christians, missionary dating non-Christians, or not dating at all. Therefore one of the main reasons many (not most) Christian singles are not married is because they’re called to a life of singleness. . Then the church needs to step in and help the couple. Years later, after the rain cleared and the debris settled, God gently pointed to my heart and showed me that my desire for a mate was greater than my desire for Him. One common reason many people are not married is because they are over complicating the process. And sex is a demonstration of just how deep that connection can go. That’s why God only allows a seperation and not a divorce. So that's what AGW is all about! But that’s not always the case. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single, is a series of books that takes an in-depth look at 9 reasons why God may be delaying a woman's prayers for a husband. Reason 4: Your Sinful Life Doesn’t Match Your Marriage Standards, Causing Dating Paralysis. And in some ways it really is. I have always believed that if I pray, believe and wait patiently on the Lord He eventually will bring it to pass. The paperback version is available for $12.99. . The difference between older children of divorce and other confirmed bachelors is their reason for not being married. Therefore one reason you’re not married could be that God loves you too much to bless you with a godly spouse when you are living a godless life. 8:32 ). At least, not yet. And we believe He is a sovereign and loving God who rules all things. “That is why you experienced so much heartache. Let’s think why did God ask Hosea to marry a prostitute she was a sinner. Images: Pexels , Giphy (4) Perhaps your single status is a great blessing, but in a way that only God knows, and you know not. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single (Reason #1) SKU: $7.99. The point is that serving Jesus is best. It could just mean it’s not your time yet. Perhaps your single status is a great blessing, but in a way that only God knows, and you know not. There may be more intense anxieties among young people in our church than unfulfilled desires for marriage, but there also may not be a more prevalent one. Therefore, to accomplish our everlasting joy in him, he will often supernaturally work against our superficial happiness rooted in idolatry and worldliness. Giving Christian marriage advice is always challenging in a setting like this because I rarely have all the facts. It might not be the right context to go into my consecration, so I just keep it at that. God often withholds blessings when we are living in sin because he loves us so much. Why your marriage or relationships don’t seem to be working? I have a question for. (2 Cor 6:14) While it’s sometimes true that the reason you’re not married is simply that it’s not your time, this is not the case for everyone. And this love and this God are available to the married and not-yet-married alike. Reason 2: You’re Called to Singleness, Not Marriage. I ask myself this on occasion. God, Why Am I Not Married? Are you on the edge of losing or have lost your faith because of it? We all must embrace the life that helps us to best accomplish God’s goals for us, whether that means a life of singleness or of Christian marriage. And then . At the core of our desire for companionship is a longing for connection. Because of Ian’s condition, the courts had to decide that it was in his best interest to be married. "God, Why Am I Not Married? The Bible sends the opposite message. But my favorite act of serving God is revealing his truth in written format. We don’t always know the reason why some are still unmarried, but we do know that whether a Christian is single or married, God always has a good work for them to do (Ephesians 2:10). Our pastor who married us, Mark Altrogge, was with us on the day that our marriage was approved by a local judge. It’s impossible to know the reasons why God makes some wait until their forty to find a spouse and he allows others to get married at nineteen. and then . Maybe it was the wedding invitation I received by e-mail last week that sparked this contemplation. I don’t want a divorce. Often times, these are the same reasons that are the foundation for unsatisfying What Does the Bible Say About Those Who... specific actions that will increase your chances of getting married. But have you ever considered sex to be a major hindrance in your search for love? $7.99. Why did God … ​                                                                                                                                                                                         -. The only solution to all this is to stop living in sin and embrace the effects of the gospel. You want to save money. Reason 1: It’s Just Not Your Time Yet to Be Married. Regardless, God has a unique promise and blessing for eunuchs described in Isaiah 56:4-5, one only given to someone who lives the single life. Does your unmet desire for companionship feel like a plague on your life? Therefore, if you are a Christian living in sin, you will feel guilty. What follows is not an exhaustive list of reasons you’re not married. Answer: It is true that sexual relations is the ultimate fulfillment of a couple becoming “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24). It might just mean that you have your own definition of love and companionship. On a particular day in church during a Service, the pastor called for those who are trusting God for marriage and are not yet married, and about half of the church came out for prayers, most of them were single ladies, some of them in their forties. This is just too little... god *I cried*.. god please, have mercy... (Ok, no I didn't do that, my brother actually jumped in and told him to f*ck off) Conclusion I am still single, I am 29 years old, the reason why I am not married (answering the people who look at me with pity in their eyes 'cause am … Lately I’ve been pondering why I’m not married. I think the American Church has done a poor job of celebrating Christian singleness. Paul actually gives the impression that singleness is a higher calling than marriage because it’s a way of life that provides more practical benefits of focusing solely on serving Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 7:38). In this day and age, it is more socially acceptable to be single for longer periods of time between relationships, get married at a later age than previously considered “normal”, or even stay single. Loving Jesus Christ is always the first step to embracing his call on your life. Why God seems to be ignoring your prayers for a husband or better marriage? 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single," is a 9-part series that reveals thought-provoking spiritual truths about the complexities of relationships and God's role within them. Well, fear not. Why I'm Not Married 02/10/2012 08:41 am ET Updated Apr 11, 2012 According to Tracy McMillan , the reason I'm not married is that I'm a selfish, angry, shallow, lying, slut who deep down doesn't feel like she's good enough. These are just some of the most common reasons, or roadblocks (depending how you look at), for why many Christian singles are not married. 6:14); therefore, getting caught up with an unbeliever is a big mistake. God will do what’s best for us, and he knows it’s always best that we repent of sin and turn to him. There’s biblical grounds for a healthy version of both camps. Marriage is a blessing from God (along with singleness), and nothing blocks God’s blessings like unrepentant sin (Galatians 6:7-9). Unavailable per item This book is reason #1 of a 9-part series that reveals often times we struggle in our relationships and getting our prayers answered for a spouse because our motives are not always what they appear to be. There’s a balance to this dating dance. Living in sin is a major reason why many are not married because it causes Christian singles to live in a state of paralysis. 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single," is a eye opening book that dives deep into 9 different reason why many women are unable to maintain healthy relationships or find good husbands. Are you expecting your spouse to heal your emotional wounds? Singleness is actually a high calling in the Bible. If a Christian is living in sin, they will feel guilty. Today our topic is titled “Why am I not married” This topic is for single ladies. You do not need to know whether or not you’ll get married to live effectively for Christ, but you’ll have to fight for it. Finding someone to marry seems like a mysterious process. Only he can judge this couple Has been blessed and God has miraculously healed the young lady. It might not be your time to get married. Nothing happens quickly when things get overly complicated. and I think you get the point: Because it seems complicated, you are reluctant to even start. Type in your email address and a copy will be sent right to your inbox. To God and has professed to God they are married although not married in paper. Get your copy of The Ultimate Guide to Christian Singleness and access to all of our eBooks. Just because you are not married doesn’t mean you are failing. A couple who is dedicated. and then . You may never know why He is delaying marriage, but rest assured that as His child, God has not forsaken you! In author Stephanie Kekeocha's revised series, she still gives thought-provoking and insightful answers to these age-old com… Why Am I Not Married Yet! Why would God not hear those prayers? Do you know if God is calling you to singleness? I have been married for over 20 years. One reason many Christians are not married is because they feel too guilty to date a Christian guy or girl who is not living in sin. But that’s not always the case. Relationship issues have been in existence since, well, the beginning of existence, and there have been numerous books, movies, commentary, among other things that have attempted to dissect this critical and complicated relationship. God sees the heart. You are instructed to either, “Just serve Jesus and he’ll bring you a spouse” or you are told that “God only helps those who help themselves, so get out there and date, date, date until you find the one.”. . : 9 Reasons You Might Still Be Single (Volume 1) [Kekeocha, Stephanie] on Amazon.com. They need to pray and confront the abbuser so he or she becomes to know their sin so he or she can be forgiven. As if the first six reasons weren't enough -- (and how could you forget those: 1) You're a Bitch, 2) You're Shallow 3) You're a Slut, 4) You're a Liar, 5) You're Selfish, and 6) You're Not Good Enough) -- here I am with four ALL NEW REASONS why you're still not married. "God, Why Am I Not Married? I think you get the point: Because it seems complicated, I am reluctant to even start. It's completely free - my gift to you. For anyone who might approach me but doesn't know me, I simply say that I am married and not interested. AGW Ministries is meant to be an online blessing to you. If they are not faithful to Him, they won’t be faithful to you. If you are an extrovert, you’ll probably have a new date lined up every week. Reason 1: It’s Just Not Your Time Yet to Be Married. I’ve written about this more in the blog, “How to Find a Christian Spouse” if you’d like to explore this idea more deeply. I've served as a missionary, a pastor, and as a pastoral counselor. I’m all about sharing information and improving marriage. Not getting married doesn't mean that you're incapable of loving someone else. To bless us while we are in rebellion is to passively support our sinfulness. But to add gutters, I need to put up new fascia. If you are a Christian, you want to be married, and you know marriage is a good gift from God, it’s hard to not feel like you are doing something wrong if you are still not married. Recently ran across a book called “Why You’re Not Married Yet – The Straight Talk You Need to Get the Relationship You Deserve” by Tracy McMillan. ​Have you been praying for a spouse or better marriage, and God doesn't seem to be listening? Never is this truer than when searching for the right Christian spouse. Most of the Christian classics were written by monks and nuns for monks and nuns. Feel free to email me with any questions or comments at markballenger@applygodsword.com. 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